The Kumquats Are a Lie

May 14, 2013 § Leave a comment

The kumquat sign is, anyhow. I was at Trader Joe’s the other day, and they had the cutest little orange fruits just hanging out above this sign:


See there? “Eat ’em whole; rind & all!” it says. “A sweet little burst of vitamin C!” Sweet, my ass. I bit into one and my face did that thing it does when you bite into something unexpectedly bitter.  I think it took me about 20 minutes to completely unscrew it.

So I went on Pinterest, like I do, to see what I could find to do with these bitter little things (it’s the rind, by the way — I could taste the sweetness of the fruit but the rind just killed me). I considered candying them, and I considered making jam or marmalade out of them, but then I saw that someone had used them in a white sangria and since I had a 5 liter box of wine just hanging out in my fridge (judge not lest ye be judged), that seemed like the way to go.

Kumquat Sangria

It was not the way to go. Don’t get me wrong: it was drinkable. But it was just meh. I also threw in some pineapple, pear, and strawberries for a little added sweetness, and because eating the fruit is half the fun of sangria. Unfortunately, while the sangria itself was drinkable, the fruit was pretty much inedible. It seemed to leach up all the bitterness from the kumquats. That said, I think I’ll be doing the sangria thing again sans kumquats. If it works out, I’ll throw a recipe up here next time. I can promise it will be well-tested. Because that is the kind of sacrifice I am willing to make for my readers.


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